Abundant Life Guide

3 Ways To Stop Negative Self-Talk and Negative Thinking

Melissa Hussong mindset and manifestation coach on how to stop negative self-talk and negative thinking.

Our biggest enemy is usually ourselves. Negative self talk and thinking patterns can ruin dreams and throw water on our passions before we even get started. 

For many of us, negative self talk comes from deep in the subconscious mind planted there before the age of 7. 

If you pause for a moment and observe your self talk, what words do you hear? 

Who’s words do you hear?

I can almost guarantee they are words you heard as a child from an authority figure. 

Like parents, grandparents, teachers or even older siblings. 

As children we act like sponges absorbing everything around us until we start to model it. Which means talking to ourselves and scolding ourselves like the adults in our lives used to do. 

Negative thoughts and self-talk don’t stop at surface level. They get us going down a spiral of negativity and before we know it hours later we are in a hole and can’t get out. 

The effects of negative thinking patterns can be destructive. 

Think of all the times you talked yourself out of applying for a job because you didn't think you were qualified. 

Or you didn’t ask your crush out because you felt they would say ‘no’. 

Or you didn’t speak up in a meeting because you thought your idea was dumb.

Or you didn’t start a business venture because you didn’t feel like you were worthy. 

This stops here. Now. 

Here are 3 ways to overcome negative self-talk:


Practice self-love and compassion 

Negative self-talk is a thought pattern just like any other. It has become our default way of thinking over many years. 

This is normal and very common. 

In my experience, treating yourself with compassion and using positive self-talk is the kindest thing we can ever do for ourselves.

You can start talking to yourself in a compassionate manner and using positive self talk today.  

If you normally say things like ‘you’re so dumb, I can’t believe you did that’, switch instead to ‘great work, I see you are trying hard and will do even better next time’. 

A powerful self-love tool is speaking to your 5 year old self. Perhaps you can use the words you wish you heard as a child. 

Things like ‘you are doing great’ or ‘I’m so proud of you’.

If it helps, you can stick a photo of your 5 year old self in your room or bathroom to remind yourself that you have an inner child inside that needs attention. This will help create the image that you are perfect and deserving of love and kindness at all times. 


Use pattern interrupts

Sometimes the pull of a negative thought spiral is too much. 

I remember I used to berate myself for hours about my behavior and what I did/didn’t do. Basically, lecturing myself on how to be a better human. 

What I didn’t know back then was that pattern interrupts can help us shift our of a negative thought pattern in an instant. 

The reason we go down negative self-talk spirals is because those neural pathways are worn-in after years of negative thoughts. 

To shift out of that pattern takes mental energy.  

Pattern interrupts are neurological tools that help us mentally change the channel.

Some useful pattern interrupts are: 

💜Saying out loud ‘that’s not me’

💜Saying out loud ‘cancel that thought’

💜Saying out loud ‘nope, I’m not going there’

💜Shake your hands for a few seconds 

💜Sing the chorus of your favorite song 

💜Go for a walk 


Focus on best case scenario

Too often, our negative thoughts take us to a worst case scenario in our heads. 

We play that scene over and over until we feel miserable. 

Instead of focusing on ‘what could go wrong?’, instead choose to wonder ‘what could go right?’.

What if things worked out in your favor and you are wildly successful?

Go to that scene and be there now. 

How does it feel when things work out? 

What does it look like?

This is one of my favorite manifestation practices because it helps you embody the energy of success. 

When we feel good about ourselves and happy in the moment, our thoughts will manifest into positive outcomes in our physical reality. 

Spiritually speaking, your success is inevitable anyway so when you know that and feel it in your body it has no other option than to become true for you. 

Don’t let negative thoughts and self-talk hold you back any longer.

If you loved this then you are going to love my 12 week private coaching container Burnt Out To Badass, including; subconscious mind techniques to unlock your potential, and mindset hacks to shift you from overwhelmed and stressed to confident and unstoppable. Schedule a call today to see if it is a good fit.

Or maybe you are someone who is struggling to find momentum and clarity, then check out my Abundant Life guide where I share all my favorite journal prompts and affirmations to help you get clear on what you want, find your purpose, and live your dream life. Download your copy here.